Wonderful Definitions

School:

A place where Parents pay and children play .

Life Insurance
A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.

Nurse:
A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills .

Marriage
It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters...

Divorce
Future tense of Marriage.

Tears:
The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine water power...

Lecture:
An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either" .

Conference:
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Compromise:
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

Dictionary :
A place where success comes before work.

Conference Room:
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

Father:
A banker provided by nature..

Criminal:
A person no different from the rest
....except that he/she got caught.

Boss:
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Politician :
One who shakes your hand before elections and
your Confidence after .

DOCTOR:
A person who holds your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.

Classic:
Books, which people praise, but do not read.

Smile:
A curve that can set a lot of things straight .

Office:
A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Yawn:
The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Etc.
A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Committee:
Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Experience:
The name men give to their mistakes.

Atom Bomb:
An invention to end all inventions.

Philosopher:
A fool who torments himself during life, to be wise.

Newton & Sultan Rahi

Newton & Sultan Rahi

Once, Newton came to Pakistan and watched a few Lollywood movies that had his head spinning. He was convinced that all his logic and laws in physics were just a huge pile of junk and apologized for everything he had done.
 
In the movies of Sultan Rahi, Newton was confused to such an extent that he went paranoid. Here are a few scenes
 
1) Sultan Rahi has a Brain Tumor which, according to the doctors can't be cured and his death is imminent. In one of the fights, our great Sultan Rahi is shot in the head. To everybody's surprise, the bullet passes through his ears taking away the tumor along with it and he is cured!  
Long Live Sultan Rahi!
 
2) In another movie, Sultan Rahi is confronted with 3 gangsters. Sultan Rahi has a gun but unfortunately only one bullet and a knife. Guess, what he does? He throws the knife at the middle gangster? & shoots the bullet towards the knife. The knife cuts the bullet into 2 pieces, which kills both the gangsters on each side of the middle gangster & the knife kills the middle one.
 
3) Sultan Rahi is chased by a gangster. Sultan Rahi has a revolver but no bullets in it. Guess what he does. Nah? Not even in your remotest imaginations. He waits for the gangster to shoot. As soon as the gangster shoots, Sultan Rahi opens the bullet compartment of his revolver and catches the bullet. Then, he closes the bullet compartment and fires his gun. Bang... the gangster dies...
 
This was too much for our Newton to take! He was completely shaken and decided to go back. But he happened to see another movie for one last time, and thought that at least one movie would follow his theory of physics. The whole movie goes fine and Newton is happy that all in the world hasn't changed. Oops, not so fast!
 
The 'climax' finally arrives.
 
Sultan Rahi gets to know that the villain is on the other side of a very high wall. So high that Sultan Rahi can't jump even if he tries like one of those superman techniques that our heroes normally use. Sultan Rahi has to desperately kill the villain because it's the climax. ( Newton dada is smiling since it is virtually impossible?) Sultan Rahi suddenly pulls two guns from his pockets. He throws one gun in the air and when the gun has reached above the height of the wall, he uses the second gun and shoots at the trigger of the first gun in air. The first gun fires off and the villain is dead.
 
Newton commits suicide...