6 Weeks, 6 Months and 6 Years

Dating process:

6 weeks : I love U, I love U, I love U.
6 months : Of course I love U.
6 years : GOD, if I didn't love U, then why the hell did I propose?

Back from Work:

6 weeks : Honey, I'm home.
6 months : BACK!!
6 years : What did your mom cook for us today??


6 weeks : Honey, I really hope you liked the ring.
6 months : I bought you a painting; it would fit the motif in the living room.
6 years : Here's the money. Buy yourself something.

Phone Ringing:

6 weeks : Baby, somebody wants you on the phone.
6 months : Here, for you.
6 years : PHONE RINGING.


6 weeks : I never knew food could taste so good!
6 months : What are we having for dinner tonight?
6 years : AGAIN!!!!


6 weeks : Honey muffin, don't you worry, Ill never hold this against you.
6 months : Watch out! Don't do it again.
6 years : What's not to understand about what I just said??

New Dress:

6 weeks : Oh my God, you look like an angel in that dress.
6 months : You bought a new dress again???
6 years : How much did THAT cost me?

Planning for Vacations:

6 weeks : How do 2 weeks in Vienna or anywhere you please sound??
6 months : What's so bad about going to Istanbul on a charter plane?
6 years : Travel? What's so bad about staying home???


6 weeks : Baby, what would you like us to watch tonight?
6 months : I like this movie.
6 years : I'm going to watch ESPN, if you're not in the mood, go to bed, I can stay up by myself

Car operating system

Bill's company made software to run a car.

Bill was taking a test ride of the car. Suddenly a truck came from opposite side.

Bill pressed ctrl+b to apply brakes.

A pop-up window appeared asking, "Are you sure you really want to stop?"

Before Bill could enter "Yes", there was a crash and the car caught fire.

In panic Bill forgot the password to open the door.

He started shouting "F1! F1!" but there was no computer professional present there to understand his screams.

Then he tried to come out through the car window-pane.

A message appeared on the screen, "An illegal function is performed.

All the window-panes of the car will be closed." Poor Bill died.

Messengers of death took away his soul and said to him, "You have never ever performed any good deeds in your life..
You always stole the code from others. We are going to send you to hell."

Bill pleaded, "I am ready to go to hell but do provide me a computer, please."

Messengers of death smiled inwardly and permitted him a computer, but with no Alt, Ctrl and Delete keys on the keyboard.


Laughing will increase ur life span.......

1) Long back, a person who sacrificed his sleep, forgot his family, forgot his food, Forgot laughter were called


But now they are called.. "IT professionals"

2) An interesting line written at the back of a Biker ' s T Shirt:

"If you are able to see this, please tell me that my girlfriend has fallen off"

3.) Most Relationships fail not because of the absence of love..

Love is always present.. Its just that,
One loves too much, And

the other loves too many,

4.) Employee:

Boss, Now I have got married..! Please increase my salary..!


Factory is not responsible for accidents occurring outside the company..!

5.) Philosophy of life

At the beginning of married life, every gal treats her husband as


Later on somehow the alphabets got reversed..!

6.) What is a Fear?

Fear is the Deep, Wrenching feeling in your stomach
When pages of your book still smell new and Just few hours left for your exams..!

7.) Useful

Someone has rightly said, "A fool can ask More questions that a wiseman cannot answer"

No Wonder why so many of us speechless when lecturers ask question..!

8.) Girl:
Do you have Cards with sentimental Love quotes?


Oh sure..@! How about this card, it says "To the only boy I ever loved.!"


That ' s good, Give me 12 of them..!

9) After reading the form filled by an applicant.. The employer said: " WE do have an... opening for you..! "


What is it?


Its called the "door..!"

10) A Banner cum Sign Board In front of an IT company..

Drive Slowly, Don ' t kill our Employee.... . Leave them to us

Just for Laughs

Two men

met while both where looking for their lost wives.

1st: How yours look like?

2nd: She is 5"7, 36-24-36, Fair, Black eyes. What about yours?


Forget mine.

Lets find yours!!


Man comes home, finds his wife with his friend in bed.

He shoots his friend to death.

Wife says, "If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends".


What is the definition of Mistress?

Someone between the Mister and Mattress


Husband asks , "Do u know the meaning of WIFE??

"Without Information Fighting Everytime"

Wife replies," No, It means ,

"With Idiot For Ever!!!"


Three Feelings:

What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?

Stress is when wife is pregnant,

Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant, and


is when both are pregnant.


Teacher: u know the importance of period?

Kid: Ya, once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted, dad got heart attack & our driver ran away.


Women asked man who is traveling with six children, all these kids are urs ???

No, I work in a condom factory & these are

customer complaints.


Sons asks difference between confidence and confidential

Dad says, you are my son, I'm confident. Your friend is also my son, that's confidential!


Mother to her teenage daughter: I think this is the right time we should talk about sex.

Daughter (Excitingly) : Sure mom, tell me what do you want to know.

Mother Faints... --


Jokes 03

A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell.
Santa doesn't turns up for 4 days.
Lady calls again,
Santa replies: I'm coming daily since 4 days, I press the bell but no one comes out.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Lady to inspector Santa: My husband went to buy potatoes 5 days ago, he hasn't come back yet!
Santa: Why don't u cook something else.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Santa: Itne kam marks? Do thappad marne chahiye.
Pappu: Haan papa, chalo maine us saale master ka ghar bhi dekh rakha hai.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Santa was standing in sun on a hot sunny day.
Banta asked: What are you doing?
Santa: Drying sweat!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
While walking in the highlands Santa fell down a deep hole.
Banta: R u ok?
Santa: Yeah!
Banta: Did u break anything?
Santa: No, there's nothing down here
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Santa was riding on a horse. He jumped the red light & a cop whistles.
Santa lifts the tail of horse & says: 'Le Karle Number Note'

Jokes 02

BOY : May I hold your hand?

GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy.

GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!

BOY : You love me...

GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??

BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??

GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.

BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple

GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever.

BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??

BOY : I love you and I could die for you!

GIRL : How soon??

BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!

GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there??

SHARON : Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning


TRACY : I did once. He'd forgotten to take the

cigarette out of his mouth.

MAN : You remind me of the sea.

WOMAN : Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?

MAN : NO, because you make me sick.

WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear

and comes out of the other.

HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both

ears and comes out of the mouth.

MARY : John says I'm pretty. Andrew says I'm ugly.What

do u think,


PETER : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.

1) Girlfriend : "...And are you sure you love me and

no one else ?"

Boyfriend : "Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again


2) Teacher : "Which is more important to us, the sun

or the moon?"

Pupil : "The moon".

Teacher : "Why?"

Pupil : "The moon gives us light at night when we need

it but the sun gives us light only in the day time

when we don't need it".

3) Teacher : "What do you call a person who keeps on

talking when people are no longer interested?"

Pupil : "A teacher".

4) Waiter : "Would you like your coffee black?"

Customer : "What other colors do you have?"

5) My father is so old that when he was in school,

history was called current affairs.

6) Teacher : "Sam, you talk a lot !"

Sam : "It's a family tradition".

Teacher : "What do you mean?"

Sam : "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father

is a teacher".

Teacher : "What about your mother?"

Sam : "She's a woman".

7) Tom : "How should I convey the news to my father

that I've failed?"

David: "You just send a telegram: Result declared,

past year's performance repeated".

8) Teacher : "Now, children, if I saw a man beating a

donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be


Student : "Brotherly love".

9) Teacher : "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say

prayers before eating?"

Sam : "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good


10) Patient : "What are the chances of my recovering


Doctor : "One hundred percent. Medical records show

that nine out of ten people die of the disease you

have. Yours is the tenth case I've treated. The others

all died".

11) Teacher : " Can anybody give an example of


One Student : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married

on the same day and at the same time."

12) Teacher : " George Washington not only chopped

down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it.

Now do you know why his father didn't punish him ?"

One Student: " Because George still had the axe in is hand."


Doctor to sardar patient: Ab aapki tabiyat kaisi hai.

Sardar: Doctor saheb Pehle se jyada kharab ho gayi hai.

Doctor : dawai khali thi kya?

Sardar : Nai doctor saheb. dawai ki shishi to bhari hui thi.

Doctor : Are Sardar ji mere kehne ka matlab hai ki, dawai le li thi kya.

Sardar : Ji, aapne dawai de di thi aur maine le li thi.

Doctor: Abe, dawai pili thi kya?

Sardar : Oho, nai doctor saheb dawai to lal thi.

Doctor : Abe GADHE, Dawai ko peeliya tha kya?

Sardar : Nai. Doctor, Peeliya to mujhe tha.

Doctor( in frustration) : Abe teri to, Dawai ko muh lagakar Pet me dala tha ki nai?

Sardar : Nai doctor saheb.

Doctor : Kyon?

Sardar : Kyonki dhakkan band tha.

Doctor ( in Fully frustration): Teri sale, to Khola kyon nai.

Sardar : Saheb, aapne hi to kaha tha ki, shishi ka dhakkan band rakhna.

Doctor : Tera ilaz main nai kar sakta.!

Sardar : Accha Doctor saheb ye to bata do ki main thik kaise hounga

Doctor : Abe teri ..............................
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