Pathan Joke :)

80,000 Pathans meet in the Peshawar Stadium for a "Pathans Are Not Stupid" Convention.

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The leader says, "We are all here today to prove to the world that Pathans are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer?"

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A Pathan works his way through the crowd and steps up to the stage. The leader asks him, "What is 15 plus 15?"

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After 15 or 20 seconds he says, "Eighteen!" Obviously everyone is a little disappointed.

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Then 80,000 PAthans start cheering, "Give him another chance! Give him another chance!"

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The leader says, "Well since we've gone to the trouble of getting 80,000 of you in one place and we have the world-wide

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press and global broadcast media here, gee, uh, I guess we can give him another chance."

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So he asks, "What is 5 plus 5?" After nearly 30 seconds he eventually says, "Ninety?" The leader is quite perplexed,

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looks down and just lets out a dejected sigh -- everyone is disheartened - the Pathan starts crying and the 80,000

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men begin to yell and wave their hands shouting, "GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE!"

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The leader, unsure whether or not he is doing more harm than damage, eventually says, "Ok! Ok! Just one more chance-- What is 2 plus 2?"

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The man closes his eyes, and after a whole minute eventually says, "Four?"

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Throughout the stadium pandemonium breaks out as all 80,000 pathans jump to their feet, wave their arms, stomp their feet and scream...

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"GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE


Stumble It!

Why the students fail ???

It“s not the fault of the student if he fails, because the year ONLY has 365“ days.
Typical academic year for a student:

1. Sundays-52, Sundays in a year, you know Sundays are for rest.
Days left 313.

2. Summer holidays-50 where weather is very hot and difficult to study.
Days left 263.

3. 8 hours daily sleep- 130 days GONE.
Days left 141.

4. 1 hour for daily playing- (good for health) means 15 days.
Days left 126.

5. 2 hours daily for food other delicacies means 30days.
Days left 96.

6. 1 hour for talking means 15 days.
Days left 81.

7. Exam days- per year at least 35 days.
Days left 46.

8. Quarterly, Half yearly and festival (holidays)-40 days.
Balance 6 days.

9. For sickness- at least 3 days.
Remaining days=3.

10. Movies and functions - at least 2 days.
1 day left.

11 That 1 day is your birthday

How can you study on that day???

Balance =0
How can a student pass??????

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Love and Marriage

Love and Marriage

Love is holding hands in the street.
Marriage is holding arguments in the street.

Love is cuddling on a sofa..
Marriage is one of them sleeping on a sofa.

Love is talking about having children.
Marriage is talking about getting away from children.

Love is going to bed early..
Marriage is going to sleep early.

Love is losing your appetite.
Marriage is losing your figure.

Love is sweet nothing in the ear.
Marriage is sweet nothing in the bank.

Tv has no place in love.
Marriage is a fight for remote control.

Love is 1 drink and 2 straws.
Marriage is "Don't you think you've had enough!".

Conclusion: "Love is blind, Marriage is an eye opener!"


Types of Man. ..


Before Finding a Girl - Spiderman....


After Finding his Girl - Superman....


After the Engagement - Gentleman.....

After the Marriage -

Watchman....

10 years After Marriage -Doberman.

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The Four Cats

Four men were bragging about how smart their cats were.


The first man was an Engineer,

the second man was an Accountant,

the third man was a Chemist, and

the fourth man was a Government Employee.


To show off, the Engineer called his cat, 'T-square, do your stuff.'


T-square pranced over to the desk, took out some paper and pen and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle.


Everyone agreed that was pretty smart.



But the Accountant said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, 'Spreadsheet, do your stuff.'


Spreadsheet went out to the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies.


Everyone agreed that was good.



But the Chemist said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, 'Measure, do your stuff.'


Measure got up, walked to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard and poured

exactly 8 ounces without spilling a drop into the glass.


Everyone agreed that was pretty good.



Then the three men turned to the Government Employee and said, 'What can your cat do?'


The Government Employee called his cat and said, 'CoffeeBreak, do your stuff.'




CoffeeBreak jumped to his feet.......











ate the cookies........


drank the milk.......


sh*t on the paper.......





screwed the other three cats.......



claimed he injured his back while doing so.......



filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions.......



put in for Workers Compensation...............and




went home for the rest of the day on sick leave............












AND THAT, MY FRIEND IS WHY EVERYONE WANTS TO WORK FOR THE GOVERNMENT!!

20 Rules in any office

Rule 1. - The Boss is always right

Rule 2. - If the Boss is wrong, see rule 1.

Rule 3. Those who work get more work. Others get pay, perks, and promotions.


Rule 4. Ph.D. stands for "Pull Him Down". The more intelligent a person, the more hardworking a person, the more committed a person; the more number of persons are engaged in pulling that person down.


Rule 5. If you are good, you will get all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it.


Rule 6.. When the Bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.


Rule 7. It doesn't matter what you do, it only matters what you say you've done and what you are going to do.


Rule 8. A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt.


Rule 9. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.


Rule 10. The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.


Rule 11. If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it...


Rule 12. When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.


Rule 13.. Following the rules will not get the job done.


Rule 14. If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would get done.


Rule 15. Everything can be filed under "Miscellaneous" .


Rule 16. No matter how much you do, you never do enough.


Rule 17. You can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work you are supposed to be doing.


Rule 18. In order to get a promotion, you need not necessarily know your job.


Rule 19. In order to get a promotion, you only need to pretend that you know your job.


Rule 20. The last person that quit or was fired will be held responsible for everything that goes wrong.


Stumble It!

Too much into technology!!!

Too much into technology!!!














And this is the best one







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