Trust You Had Some Laugh 3

*Santa proposing a girl: Darling kya tum mujse shadi karogi?
Girl: Tameez se baat karo.
Santa: Behan ji, kya aap mujhse shaadi karoge?

• Inspector to Santa: Faansi se pehle, bata teri aakhri ichha kya
hai?Santa: Mere pair upar aur sier neeche kar k faansi de do!

• Santa: I tried ur number so many times, it always said 'Switched
Off'!"
Banta: Nooo, it's my HELLO TUNE!

• Beggar: Oh sundari, andha hoon, paanch rupya de de.
Santa to his wife: De de, De de, tujhe sundari bola hai to har haal
main ye andha hai.

• Santa: Oye tera vyah ho gya?
Banta: Haan.
Santa: Kuri naal?
Banta: Oye munde naal v hunda hai kya?
Santa: Haan... Meri bhain da hoya si !


• Banta: Jab main paida hua tha to military walon ne 21 topein
chalayeen thi. Santa: Kamaal hai ! Sab ka nishana chook gaya ?

• Santa meets his old friend.
Santa: A & B, A & B, A & B, A & B, A & B.
Friend: Oye, iska matlab?
Santa: Kuch nahin yaar, I mean long time no C.

• Phone ki ring baji. Santa: Phone mere liye ho to kehna mein ghar
pe nahin hoon.
Jeeto phone pe: Wo ghar pe hain.
Santa: Maine mana kiya that...
Jeeto: Phone mere liye tha!

• Santa to Banta: Main apna purse ghar bhool aaya, mainu 1000 Rs
chahide si.
Banta: Dost hi dost de kam aunda hai, le 10 Rs, riksha kar te purse
le aa.

• Banta: Wo ladki deaf lagti hai. Main kuch kehta hoon, woh kuch aur
hi bolti hai.
Santa: Kaise?
Banta: Maine kaha I Luv U, to woh boli 'Maine kal hi Naye Sandal
kharide hain'

• Santa to Jeeto: Kaisi sabzi banai hai, bilkul Gobar jaisa swad hai.
Jeeto, maatha peet te hue: Hey bhagwan! Na jane inhone kya-kya kha
ke dekha hua hai.

• Daku Mangal Singh Banta ke ghar mein ghusa aur bola: Sona kahan
hai, jaldi bataao
Banta: Pura ghar khali hai malko, jithe marzi so jao!

• A sweet girl goes to Banta's shop and said: Mujhe underwear dikhao.
Banta sharmate hue: Aaj pehan kar nahin aaya.

• Teacher: Pappu, describe digestive system of a human being.
Pappu: Very simple, it starts with right hand & ends with left hand.

• Santa: Tainu tairna aanda hai?
Banta: No
Santa: Tere naalon ta kutte changey ne jehre tair lende ne
Banta: Tenu tairna aanda hai?
Santa: Aaho
Banta: Pher tere te kutte ch ki farak hai?


• Santa: Yaar meri aankhein dhang se nahin khulti, koi tarika batao.
Banta: Kisi din achanak apne ghar chale jaao.

• Santa: Ghar ka saara keemti samaan chhupa ke rakh do, mere dost aa
rahe hain.
Jeeto: Kyon! Aapke dost chura lengey? Santa: Nahin, pehchan lengey.

• I can kiss u without even touching u.
Gal: U can't
Santa: Lagi 10-10 ki
Gal: Ok
Santa kisses her lips
Gal: Touch kar liya, touch kar liya
Santa: Aah lai 10 Rs

• Q: What do you call a man who can't hear anything?
Santa: Anything you want because he can't hear na!!!

• Santa: Oye, ladki dekh, kitni sohni hai.
Bata: Mujhe to uska naam bhi pata hai.
Santa: Kya naam hai.
Banta: Mein bank gaya tha, vahan yeh ek counter pe baithi thi, name
plate pe likha tha: Chaalu Khata

• Santa: What is the similarity between Bill Gates n Me?
Banta: Don't know.
Santa: Well... He never comes to my house & I never go 2 his!

• Girl: Will you love me after marriage also?
Santa: This depends on your husband, if he allows me.

• Jeeto to Santa: Stop looking at girls, u r married now.
Santa: U mean if I am on diet, I can't look at the menu also?

• Santa to Banta: Name 5 animals living in the water?
Banta: 1 Frog.
Santa: Theek hai hor das?
Banta: Frog da praah, bhen, piyo te maa.

• Banta: Meri biwi mujhe chod ke chali gayi.
Santa: Tu uska khyal nahi rakhta hoga.
Banta: Arre yaar, Sagi behan ki tarah rakhta tha.

• Santa drinking heavily in bar gets up n farts loudly. Man next 2
him: Excuse me, but u just farted before my wife.
Santa: Sorry, I didn't know it was her turn

• Santa: Qutub Minar kahan hai?
Pappu: Pata nahi.
Santa: Kabhi ghar se nikla karo.
Pappu: Ram Lal kaun hai?
Santa: Pata nahi.
Pappu: Kabhi Ghar me bhi raha karo.

• Nurse- Congrats: Apke jurwa bete hue hain.
Santa: Ye to hona hi tha.
Nurse- Kyon?
Santa: Jab dekho KBC PART-2 dekhti rahti thi, Mil gaya na UMEED SE
DUGNA

• Santa talking on phone.
Banta: Kis se baat kar rahe ho?
Santa: Biwi se. Banta: Itne pyar se...?
Santa: Tumhari hai.

• Santa: I'd like some Vitamins for my son.
Clerk: Sir, vitamin A, B or C ?
Santa: Any will do as my son doesn't know the albhabets yet.

• Santa's son: Mere papa bahut darpok hain.
Banta's son: How?
Santa's son: Jab bhi road cross karte hain to meri ungli pakad lete
hain aur kehte hain ki chodna mat.

• Gal: I think the poorest people are the haapiest.
Banta: Then marry me and we'll be the happiest.

• What's an adult joke?
Santa: Any joke which is eighteen years old.

• If u call ur mother as MUM what'll u call mother's younger sis &
elder sis?
Santa: Minimum and Maximum

• Santa kissed his girl friend in the park. Girl: Plz ye sb shadi se
pehle…
Santa: Don't worry darling, I'm already married.

• Santa: Main aur meri girlfriend shaadi kar rahe hain.
Banta: Wow, Kab?
Santa: Meri 7 Dec ko aur uski 13 Jan ko.


• Pappu: Dad what's Sex?
Santa gets tensed but explains everything.
Pappu: But dad how do I write all that in this small box of school
admission form?

• Santa: Is operation se mujhe kuchh ho gaya to isi doctor se shadi
kar Lena.
Jeeto: Aise kyo kah rahe ho?
Santa: Doctor se badla Lene ka yehi 1 rasta hai!

• Interviewer: Aap kisi MAHILA mein sabse pehle kya dekhte hain?
Santa: O ji, wo is baat par depend karta hai ki woh aa rahi hai ya
jaa rahi hai?

• Santa eats 8 Butter Naan at a party and is suffering from
Constipation.
Praying & crying in Toilet: Hey Wahe Guru...Ya toh JAAN nikal de, ya
NAAN nikal de.

• Santa went to a museum where he broke a statue.
Officer: U have broken a 5000 years old statue.
Santa: Thank God, mainu lagga nava si…

• Santa: Mein Shimla ja raha hoon, jate hue raaste mein biwi ko khai
mein dhaka de doonga.
Banta: Yaar meri bi le ja, use bhi dhaka de dena.
Santa: Theek hai, agar tu bura na maane use vaapsi pe dhaka de doon?

• Baniye shayar ne arz kiya.
Moorkh tha Shahjahan jo kar gaya kharcha itna TAJ par Kambakht,
Har din ek nayi Mumtaz aa jati us kharche ke BYAAZ par.

• Santa-Bus stand jane k kitne paise?
Rikshawala: 10 Rs
Santa: 2Rs mein chalega to theek hai
Rikshawala: 2Rs mein kaun le k jayega?
Santa: Peeche baith main lekar jata hoon.

• Santa: Mere mummy ne kal murga banaya.
Banta: Kinu, tenu ke tere bapu nu?

• Master: Kaka tenu pata hai ki teri umar wich Gandhi Ji, BA kar
chuke si?
Santa: Sir tuhadi umar vich Bhagat Singh faansi v chad chuke si.

• Santa's father gave him a gun on wedding night & said: Fire in air
if ur wife is virgin, shoot her if not.
Santa fired in air 1st night & shot her 2nd night.

• Boss: I'm giving u driver's job. Starting salary Rs. 3000, is it
OK ? Santa: U R great sir! Starting salary is Ok but how much is
DRIVING salary?

• Santa & Banta were looking at Egyptian mummy.
Santa: Look so many bandages, pakka lorry accident case. Banta:
Aaho, lorry number is also written... BC 1760 !!!.

• Failure is not when your girlfriend leaves U. It's only when U
send her virgin. -Swami SexaaNand.

• Banta: What do you call a wife who is beautiful, intelligent,
understanding, caring, never jealous and a great cook?
Santa: Niri Afwah !!!

• Santa to wife: Did u hav any boy friend before marriage?
Wife remain silent.
Santa: Main is khamoshi ko kya samjhu?
Wife: Bewakoof ginan tan de.

• Santa Radio lekar POTTY karne gaya.
Banta: Aaj toh mazey se ki hogi ?
Santa: Khaak mazey se ki, radio par Jan-Gan-Man aa gaya, khade-khade
karni padi.

• Teacher: Asman me udne wali chiz ande deti hai, jamin pe rahne
wali bache deti hai. Kaun hai jo Asman me udti hai par bachche jamin
par deti he?
Santa: Airhostess!

• Santa: Dr. saab, I'm suffering from loose motion.
Doc: Kinni ku patli aundi hai?
Santa: Dr. saab, samaj lao ke tusi us naal Grare kar sakde ho !

• Banta: Life ko kaun zyada achhaa bana sakti hai, Girlfriend ya
Wife?
Santa: WIFE. Bas, honi kisi aur ki chahiye!

• The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in
class.
She called on him and said, "Pappu! What are 4, 2, 28 and 44?"
Little Johnny quickly replied, "Cartoon Network, Ten Sports,
Discovery Channel and Pogo!"

• Santa: What's the name of ur car?
Banta: I don't know but it starts with "T"
Santa: Kamal hai yaar teri gaddi tea nal start hundi hai, apni te
Petrol nal start hundi hai.

• Santa, Banta & Bobby were going on a motorcycle. Policeman gives
hand to stop.
Santa shouted: Oye pagal, pehle hi 3 bethe hain tu kahan baithega?

• Jeeto: Doctor ne mujhe ek mahine ka aaram aur kisi Hill station
par jaane ko kaha hai, hum kaha jayenge?
Santa: Kisi Dusrey Doctor ke paas!!!

Pappu: Dad, main itna jawan kab banunga k main mummy ko bina bataye
ghar se bahar ja sakoon.
Santa: Beta, itna jawan to aaj tak main bhi nahi hua...

• Santa bought a car on loan... He didn't pay the dues, the bank
took away his car.
Santa: If I knew this, I'd have taken a loan for my marriage also!

• Banta mujra dekhne gaya, sari raat mujra dekha.
Bai ne kaha: Sahab humne aap ko khush kiya, ab aap hume khush karo.
Banta utha or khud nachne laga..

• Teacher: Aisi kisi jagah ka naam batao jise banaya to aadmi ne hai
par fir bhi wo wahan par ja nahi sakta? Papu: LADIES TOILET!

• Banta was driving his car in a zigzag fashion on d road. Traffic
inspector stopped him.
Banta: I'm learning car driving.
Inspector: Without d instructor?
Banta: Correspondence Course!

• Jeeto: Ek baat batani hai, par plz muje marna nahi.
Santa: Bolo.
Jeeto: Mein Pregnant hu!
Santa: It's a gud News.
Jeeto: Shadi k pahle pitaji ko bataya to bahut maar padi thi.

Life is like that

There are 2 people always next to you:


1 - The M (Manager), giving a pleasant smile every time he sees you.


2 - The TL (Team Leader), busy in scheduling work for you..... And busy in his world


And In between its YOU, who struggles with all the WORK...?!!


The perfect picture is given below...... {Team leader --- YOU --- Manager}


SCROLL DOWN










































Team leader YOU Manager


"POOR BOYS!"

"POOR BOYS!"

When a Girl Cries ------------The World "Consoles" her

But when a boy cries ---------- They say Come on man don't be A "Girl"

If A Girl slaps a Boy ----------- Definitely the Boy would have "done something"

If Boy Slaps a girl -------------- Rascal doesn't know how to "Respect Ladies"

If a Girl is talking to Boys ----- She is "Very Friendly"

If a Boy talks to a Girl ---------- He is "flirting"

If a Girl meets with accident -------------------- Then its "mistake of others"

If a Boy meets with same accident -----------?- --?------ "Don't you know how to Drive"

Problems with my new computer

Letter is from Banta Singh of Punjab to Mr. Bill Gates of Microsoft
Subject: Problems with my new computer


Dear Mr. Bill Gates,

We have bought a computer for our home and we have found some
problems, which I want to bring to your notice.


1. There is a button 'start' but there is no 'stop' button. We request you to check this.

2. We find there is 'Run' in the menu. One of my friends clicked 'run' he ran up to Amritsar ! So, we request you to change that to 'sit', so that we can click that by sitting.

3. One doubt is whether any 're-scooter' is available in system? I
find only 're-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home.

4. There is 'Find' button but it is not working properly. My wife lost the door key and we tried a lot trace the key with this ' find'
button, but was unable to trace. Please rectify this problem.

5. My child learnt 'Microsoft word' now he wants to learn 'Microsoft sentence', so when you will provide that?

6. I brought computer, CPU, mouse and keyboard, but there is only one icon which shows 'MY Computer': when you will provide the remaining items?

7. It is surprising that windows says 'MY Pictures' but there is not
even a single photo of mine. So when will you keep my photo in that.

8. There is 'MICROSOFT OFFICE' what about 'MICROSOFT HOME' since I use the PC at home only.

9. You provided 'My Recent Documents'. When you will provide 'My Past Documents'?

10. You provide 'My Network Places'. For God shake please do not
provide 'My Secret Places'. I do not want to let my wife know where I go after my office hours.

Regards,

Banta

Last one from me to Mr Bill Gates :

Sir, how is it that your name is Gates but u are selling WINDOWS?

7th month anniversary

So it was their 7th month anniversary and the girl calls her boyfriend:

-Girl:
I love you..


- Boy:
Yeah I know everyone does!


-Girl:
Really?


- Boy:
Yeah...everyone of my friends that are girls tell me that everyday.


- Girl:
Oh...but am I only your friend?


- Boy:
No...you're my girlfriend...why?


- Girl:
So when I say I love you I really do mean it.


- Boy:
Yeah I know you do mean it...its just that you dont need to tell me that you love me anymore cuz I know you love me since the day we been together and i love you more each and everyday.


- Girl:
..........


- Boy:
So wanna go somewhere tonight for our 7th month anniversary?


- Girl:
Yeah...where?


- Boy:
I dont know...maybe movie then dinner?


-Girl:
Ok.


- Boy:
Ill pick you up after I get off and get ready ok?


- Girl:
Ok. What time do you get off?


- Boy: In 2 hours and then I gotta go home and yeah get ready which takes about 15-20 minutes...


-Girl:
hey...I thought you didnt have work today...


- Boy:
One of my co-workers called in sick.


- Girl:
Oh okay! So sill see you around 7:30 then?


- Boy:
Yeah! and babe?


- Girl:
Yeah?


- Boy:
I love you.


- Girl:
I love you too!


- Boy:
Ok my manager is like looking at me so yeah..... i gotta go.


- Girl:
Ok bye.


- Boy:
Bye.


*******************************************************


2 hours later...


The guy drives to his girlfriends house and walks up to the door and rings the doorbell....


- Girl:
Hey!(gives a kiss to her boyfriend)


- Boy:
Wadssup.....you ready?


- Girl:
Um....wait...let me get my bag and we can go ok?


- Boy:
Ok.


They both watched a movie and ate dinner...once they were done eating, they headed back to the car but before she got into the car.......


- Boy:
Wait! Can I blindfold you?


- Girl:
Why??!?


- Boy:
Its a surprise.


- Girl:
What kinda surprise??


- Boy:
A big one.


- Girl:
Okay but only if you promise me tat you will hold my hand while we're driving...


- Boy:
I promise..


- Girl:
Ok blindfold me.....


So they drove off.........and then they stopped....


- Boy:
Ok we're here!!


-Girl:
Where??


- Boy:
Wait let me walk you to the place!


- Girl:
What place??


- Boy:
Somewhere!(and gives a kiss to her on the lips..)


- Girl:
Baby!...


The boy walks her to the place....


- Boy:
Ok...let me take the blindfold off.


- Girl:
Where are we??


He takes it off her and she opens her eyes and sees the view of the city and at tat same spot....that's where he first asked her to be his girlfriend......


- Girl:
Omg...!(tears come down)


- Boy:
Why are you crying?


- Girl:
This is where you first asked me out...


- Boy:
What are you doing the rest of your life? (he asked on his knees and after he says that...behind him...in the air it says 'Will you marry me?' in fireworks)


- Girl:
(tears come down faster)


- Boy:
I wasnt at work when you called me...I was planning this whole thing!


- Girl:
Get up!


- Boy:
Yeah?


- Girl:
(kisses him)


- Boy:
Is that a yes or a no?


- Girl:
Yes.



Stumble It!

I CAN READ IT! CAN YOU

If yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too.
Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe can.

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod
aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg.
The phaonmneal pweor
of the hmuan mnid,
aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy,
it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are,
the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit
and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae.
The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos
not raed ervey lteter by istlef,
but the wrod as a wlohe.
Azanmig huh? yaeh and
I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!


Stumble It!

Parents Are Precious

Venkatesh Balasubramaniam (who works for IIT) describes how his gesture of booking an air ticket for his father, his maiden
flight, brought forth a rush of emotions and made him (Venkatesh) realize that how much we all take for granted when it comes to our
parents.

My parents left for our native place on Thursday and we went to the airport to see them off. In fact, my father had never
traveled by air before, so I just took this opportunity to make him experience the same. In spite of being asked to book tickets by train, I got them tickets on Jet Airways. The moment I handed over the tickets
to him, he was surprised to see that I had booked them by air. The excitement was very apparent on his face, waiting for the time of
travel. Just like a school boy, he was preparing himself on that day and we all went to the airport, right from using the trolley for his luggage, the baggage check-in and asking for a window seat and waiting
restlessly for the security check-in to happen. He was thoroughly enjoying himself and I, too, was overcome with joy watching him
experience all these things.

As they were about to go in for the security check-in, he walked up to me with tears in his eyes and thanked me. He became very emotional and it was not as if I had done something great but the fact that this meant a great deal to him. When he said thanks, I told him there was no need to thank me. But later, thinking about the entire incident, I looked back at my life. As a child, how many dreams our parents have made come true. Without understanding the financial situation, we ask for cricket bats, dresses, toys, outings, etc. Irrespective of their affordability, they have catered to all our needs. Did we ever think about the sacrifices they had to make to accommodate many of our wishes? Did we ever say thanks for all that they have done for us? Same way, today when it comes to our children, we always think that we should put them in a good school. Regardless of the amount of donation, we will ensure that we will have t give the child the best, theme parks, toys, etc. But we tend to forget that our parents have sacrificed a lot for our sake to see us happy, so it is our responsibility to ensure that their dreams are realized and what they failed to see when they were young. It is our responsibility to ensure that they experience all those and their life is complete.

Many times, when my parents had asked me some questions, I have actually answered back without patience. When my daughter asks me something, I have been very polite in answering. Now I realize how they would have felt at those moments. Let us realize that old age is a second childhood and just as we take care of our children, the same attention and same care needs to be given to our parents and elders.Quality time and politely answering them with out making them wait is important. Now I realize that I must look at their eyes and answer them pleasantly and pretend to be reading papers and answer in mono syllables. Rather than my dad saying thank you to me, I would want to say sorry for making him wait so long for this small dream. I do realize how much he has sacrificed for my sake and I will do my best to give the best possible attention to all their wishes.

Just because they are old does not mean that they will have to give up everything and keep sacrificing for their grandchildren also. They have wishes, too.

Take care of your parents.

THEY ARE PRECIOUS.

WHAT HAPPENS IN HEAVEN

I had a dream that I went to Heaven and an angel was showing me around. We walked side-by-side inside a large workroom filled with angels.. My angel guide stopped in front of the first section and said, 'This is the Receiving Section. Here, all petitions to God said in prayer are received.'

I looked around in this area, and it was terribly busy with so many angels sorting out petitions written on voluminous paper sheets and scraps from people all over the world.

Then we moved on down a long corridor until we reached the second section.

The angel then said to me, 'This is the Packaging and Delivery Section. Here, the graces and blessings the people asked for are processed and delivered to the living persons who asked for them. 'I noticed again how busy it was there. There were many angels working hard at that station, since so many blessings had been requested and were being packaged for delivery to Earth.

Finally at the farthest end of the long corridor we stopped at the door of a very small station. To my great surprise, only one angel was seated there, idly doing nothing. 'This is the Acknowledgment Section,' my angel friend quietly admitted to me. He seemed embarrassed 'How is it that there is no work going on here?' I asked.

'So sad,' the angel sighed. 'After people receive the blessings that they asked for, very few send back acknowledgments.'

'How does one acknowledge God's blessings?' I asked.

'Simple,' the angel answered. Just say, 'Thank you, Lord.'

'What blessings should they acknowledge?' I asked.

'If you have food in the refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof overhead and a place to sleep you are richer than 75% of this world. If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and spare change in a dish, you are among the top 8% of the worlds wealthy.'

'And if you get this on your own computer, you are part of the 1% in the world who has that opportunity.'

'If you woke up this morning with more health than illness .... You are more blessed than the many who will not even survive this day.'

'If you have never experienced the fear in battle, the loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture, or the pangs of starvation ... You! Are ahead of 700 million people in the world.'

'If you can attend a church without the fear of harassment, arrest, torture or death you are envied by, and more blessed than, three billion people in the world.'

'If your parents are still alive and still married ...you are very rare.'

'If you can hold your head up and smile, you are not the norm, you're unique to all those in doubt and despair.'

Ok, what now? How can I start?

If you can read this message, you just received a double blessing in that someone was thinking of you as very special and you are more blessed than over two billion people in the world who cannot read at all.

Have a good day, count your blessings, and if you care to, pass this along to remind everyone else how blessed we all are.


ATTN: Acknowledge Dept.
'Thank you Lord, for giving me the ability
To share this message and for giving me so many wonderful people with whom to share it..

God is in joking mood

A man was praying to god.


He said, "God ?"


God responded, "Yes?"


And the Guy said, " Can I ask a question?"




"Go right ahead", God said.


"God, what is a million years to you?"


God said, "A million years to me is only a second."


The man wondered.


Then he asked, "God, what is a million dollars worth to you?"


God said, "A million dollars to me is a penny."


So the man said, "God can I have a penny ?"


And God cheerfully said,


"Sure!....... just a second ."

Love and Time

Once upon a time, there was an island where all the feelings lived: Happiness, Sadness, Knowledge, and all of the others, including Love. One day it was announced to the feelings that the island would sink, so all constructed boats and left. Except for Love.
Love was the only one who stayed. Love wanted to hold out until the last possible moment.
When the island had almost sunk, Love decided to ask for help.

Richness was passing by Love in a grand boat. Love said,
"Richness, can you take me with you?"
Richness answered, "No, I can't. There is a lot of gold and silver in my boat. There is no place here for you."

Love decided to ask Vanity who was also passing by in a beautiful vessel. "Vanity, please help me!"
"I can't help you, Love. You are all wet and might damage my boat," Vanity answered.

Sadness was close by so Love asked, "Sadness, let me go with you."
"Oh . . . Love, I am so sad that I need to be by myself!"

Happiness passed by Love, too, but she was so happy that she did not even hear when Love called her.

Suddenly, there was a voice, "Come, Love, I will take you." It was an elder. So blessed and overjoyed, Love even forgot to ask the elder where they were going. When they arrived at dry land, the elder went her own way. Realizing how much was owed the elder,

Love asked Knowledge, another elder, "Who Helped me?"
"It was Time," Knowledge answered.
"Time?" asked Love. "But why did Time help me?"
Knowledge smiled with deep wisdom and answered, "Because only Time is capable of understanding how valuable Love is."

Stumble It!

Pathan Joke

80,000 Pathans meet in the Peshawar Stadium for a "Pathans Are Not Stupid" Convention.


The leader says, "We are all here today to prove to the world that Pathans are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer?"

A Pathan works his way through the crowd and steps up to the stage. The leader asks him, "What is 15 plus 15?"

After 15 or 20 seconds he says, "Eighteen!" Obviously everyone is a little disappointed.

Then 80,000 PAthans start cheering, "Give him another chance! Give him another chance!"

The leader says, "Well since we've gone to the trouble of getting 80,000 of you in one place and we have the world-wide
press and global broadcast media here, gee, uh, I guess we can give him another chance."

So he asks, "What is 5 plus 5?" After nearly 30 seconds he eventually says, "Ninety?" The leader is quite perplexed,
looks down and just lets out a dejected sigh -- everyone is disheartened - the Pathan starts crying and the 80,000
men begin to yell and wave their hands shouting, "GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE!"

The leader, unsure whether or not he is doing more harm than damage, eventually says, "Ok! Ok! Just one more chance-- What is 2 plus 2?"

The man closes his eyes, and after a whole minute eventually says, "Four?"

Throughout the stadium pandemonium breaks out as all 80,000 pathans jump to their feet, wave their arms, stomp their feet and scream....

"GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE!"

VALUE OF PARENTS

NICE STORY
A father was sitting on the sofa in his house along with his highly educated son. Suddenly a crow perched on their window.

The Father asked his Son, "What is this?"

The Son replied "It is a crow".

After a few minutes, the Father asked his Son the 2nd time, "What is this?"

The Son said "Father, I have just now told you "It's a crow".

After a little while, the old Father again asked his Son the 3rd time, What is this?"

At this time some ex-pression of irritation was felt in the Son's tone when he said to his Father with a rebuff. "It's a crow, a crow".

A little after, the Father again asked his Son the 4th time, "What is this?"

This time the Son shouted at his Father, "Why do you keep asking me the same question again and again, although I have told you so many times 'IT IS A CROW'. Are you not able to understand this?"

A little later the Father went to his room and came back with an old tattered diary, which he had maintained since his Son was born. On opening a page, he asked his Son to read that page. When the son read it, the following words were written in the diary :-

"Today my little son aged three was sitting with me on the sofa, when a crow was sitting on the window. My Son asked me 23 times what it was, and I replied to him all 23 times that it was a Crow. I hugged him lovingly each time h e asked me the same question again and again for 23 times. I did not at all feel irritated I rather felt affection for my innocent child".

While the little child asked him 23 times "What is this", the Father had felt no irritation in replying to the same question all 23 times and when today the Father asked his Son the same question just 4 times, the Son felt irritated and annoyed..

So..

If your parents attain old age, do not repulse them or look at them as a burden, but speak to them a gracious word, be cool, obedient, humble and kind to them. Be considerate to your parents.
From today say this aloud, "I want to see my parents happy forever. They have cared for me ever since I was a little child. They have always showered their selfless love on me.

They crossed all mountains and valleys without seeing the storm and heat to make me a person presentable in the society today".
Say a prayer to God, "I will serve my old parents in the BEST way. I will say all good and kind words to my dear parents, no matter how they behave.

Thanks for spending ur time on reading this mail ...... Hope U r forwarding this to all ur friends...


Stumble It!

3 PARROTS............

3 PARROTS

A man wanted to buy his son a parrot as a birthday present.
The next day he went to the pet shop and saw
three identical parrots in a cage.

He asked the clerk, "how much for the parrot on the right?

The owner said it was Rs. 2500.
"Rs. 2500.", the man said. "Well what does he do?

"He knows how to use all of the functions of Microsoft Office 2000, responds the clerk.
"He can do all of your spreadsheets and type all of your letters."

The man then asked what the second parrot cost.

The clerk replied, Rs. 5000, but he not only knows Office 2000,

but is an expert computer programmer.

Finally, the man inquired about the cost of the last parrot.
The clerk replied, "Rs. 10,000."
Curious as to how a bird can cost Rs. 10,000, the man asked what this bird's specialty was.
The clerk replies, "Well to be honest I haven't seen him do anything.
But the other two call him "BOSS"!!

Singh IS KING

Interviewer:
what is your birth date?
Sardar: 13th October
Which year?
Sardar: Oye ullu ke pathe _ _ _ EVERY YEAR
Manager asked to sardar at an interview.
Can you spell a word that has more than 15 letters in it?
Sardar replied: -P-O-S-T-B-O-X.

After returning back from a foreign trip, sardar asked his wife,
Do I look like a foreigner?
Wife: No! Why?
Sardar: In London a lady asked me Are you a foreigner?
One tourist from U.S.A. asked to Sardar: Any great man born in this village???
Sardar: no sir, only small Babies!!!

Lecturer: write a note on Gandhi Jayanthi
So Sardar writes, "Gandhi was a great man, but I don't know who is
Jayanthi.
When sardar was traveling with his wife in an auto, the driver adjusted mirror. Sardar shouted, "You are trying to see my wife? Sit back. I will drive.
Interviewer: just imagine you are in 3rd floor, it caught fire and how will you escape?
Sardar: its simple. I will stop my imagination!!!
Stumble It!

Too much into technology!!!

Too much into technology!!!












And this is the best one


Bapu's advice for professionals



"Agar koi tumhari salary na increase kare, tumhe promotion na de,
tum kam karte raho....
sirf kam hi nehi zada kam karo.......
promotion ki ummed na karo.......
Dekhna, Uski aatma ek din jaroor jaagegi.
Aur vo tumhe salary hike aur promotion zaroor dega"
Aur agar fir bhi koi salary hike aur promotion nahi mile ,
to uske paas jana, use ek Guldasta dena..... aur Vinamrata se kehna........


I am resigning
and
GET WELL SOON MAMU