Wonderful Definitions

School:
A place where Parents pay and children play .

Life Insurance
A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.

Nurse:
A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills .

Marriage
It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters...

Divorce
Future tense of Marriage.

Tears:
The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine water power...

Lecture:
An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either" .

Conference:
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Compromise:
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

Dictionary :
A place where success comes before work.

Conference Room:
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

Father:
A banker provided by nature..

Criminal:
A person no different from the rest
....except that he/she got caught.

Boss:
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Politician :
One who shakes your hand before elections and
your Confidence after .

DOCTOR:
A person who holds your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.

Classic:
Books, which people praise, but do not read.

Smile:
A curve that can set a lot of things straight .

Office:
A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Yawn:
The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Etc.
A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Committee:
Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Experience:
The name men give to their mistakes.

Atom Bomb:
An invention to end all inventions.

Philosopher:
A fool who torments himself during life, to be wise.

Newton & Sultan Rahi

Newton & Sultan Rahi

Once, Newton came to Pakistan and watched a few Lollywood movies that had his head spinning. He was convinced that all his logic and laws in physics were just a huge pile of junk and apologized for everything he had done.
 
In the movies of Sultan Rahi, Newton was confused to such an extent that he went paranoid. Here are a few scenes
 
1) Sultan Rahi has a Brain Tumor which, according to the doctors can't be cured and his death is imminent. In one of the fights, our great Sultan Rahi is shot in the head. To everybody's surprise, the bullet passes through his ears taking away the tumor along with it and he is cured!  
Long Live Sultan Rahi!
 
2) In another movie, Sultan Rahi is confronted with 3 gangsters. Sultan Rahi has a gun but unfortunately only one bullet and a knife. Guess, what he does? He throws the knife at the middle gangster? & shoots the bullet towards the knife. The knife cuts the bullet into 2 pieces, which kills both the gangsters on each side of the middle gangster & the knife kills the middle one.
 
3) Sultan Rahi is chased by a gangster. Sultan Rahi has a revolver but no bullets in it. Guess what he does. Nah? Not even in your remotest imaginations. He waits for the gangster to shoot. As soon as the gangster shoots, Sultan Rahi opens the bullet compartment of his revolver and catches the bullet. Then, he closes the bullet compartment and fires his gun. Bang... the gangster dies...
 
This was too much for our Newton to take! He was completely shaken and decided to go back. But he happened to see another movie for one last time, and thought that at least one movie would follow his theory of physics. The whole movie goes fine and Newton is happy that all in the world hasn't changed. Oops, not so fast!
 
The 'climax' finally arrives.
 
Sultan Rahi gets to know that the villain is on the other side of a very high wall. So high that Sultan Rahi can't jump even if he tries like one of those superman techniques that our heroes normally use. Sultan Rahi has to desperately kill the villain because it's the climax. ( Newton dada is smiling since it is virtually impossible?) Sultan Rahi suddenly pulls two guns from his pockets. He throws one gun in the air and when the gun has reached above the height of the wall, he uses the second gun and shoots at the trigger of the first gun in air. The first gun fires off and the villain is dead.
 
Newton commits suicide...

Top 10 Richest person in the world 2010

No.1 Carlos Slim Helu
$53.5 billionCarlosSlimHelu thumb Top 10 Richest person in the world 2010 | who is the richest person in the world 2010

Telecom, Mexico.
Telecom tycoon who pounced on privatization of Mexico’s national telephone company in the 1990s becomes world’s richest person for first time after coming in third place last year. Net worth up $18.5 billion in a year. Recently received regulatory approval to merge his fixed-line assets into American Movil, Latin America’s biggest mobile phone company.

No.2 Bill Gates

$53 billionBillGates thumb Top 10 Richest person in the world 2010 | who is the richest person in the world 2010
Microsoft, U.S.
Software visionary is now the world’s second-richest man. Net worth still up $13 billion in a year as Microsoft shares rose 50% in 12 months, value of investment vehicle Cascade swelled. More than 60% of fortune held outside Microsoft; investments include Four Seasons hotels, Televisa, Auto Nation. Stepped down from day-to-day duties at Microsoft in 2008 to focus on philanthropy.

No.3 Warren Buffett

$47 billion – Investments, U.S.WarrenBuffett thumb Top 10 Richest person in the world 2010 | who is the richest person in the world 2010
America’s favorite investor up $10 billion in past 12 months on surging Berkshire Hathaway shares; says U.S. has survived economic "Pearl Harbor," but warns recovery will be slow. Shrewdly invested $5 billion in Goldman Sachs and $3 billion in General Electric amid 2008 market collapse. Recently acquired railroad giant Burlington Northern Santa Fe for $26 billion.


No.4 Mukesh Ambani

$29 billion- Petrochemicals, oil and gas. India.MukeshAmbani thumb Top 10 Richest person in the world 2010 | who is the richest person in the world 2010
Global ambitions: His Reliance Industries, already India’s most valuable company, recently bid $2 billion for 65% stake in troubled Canadian oil sands outfit Value Creations. Firm’s $14.5 billion offer to buy bankrupt petrochemicals maker LyondellBasell was rejected. Since September company has sold Treasury shares worth $2 billion to be used for acquisitions. Late father, Dhirubhai, founded Reliance and built it into a massive conglomerate.

No.5 Lakshmi Mittal

$28.7 billionLakshmiMittal thumb Top 10 Richest person in the world 2010 | who is the richest person in the world 2010 – Steel, India.
London’s richest resident oversees ArcelorMittal, world’s largest steel maker. Net profits fell 75% in 2009. Mittal took 12% pay cut but improved outlook pushed stock up one-third in past year. Looking to expand in his native India; wants to build steel mills in Jharkhad and Orissa but has not received government approval. Earned $1.1 billion for selling his interest in a Kazakh refinery in December


No.6 Lawrence Ellison

$28 billion – Oracle, U.S.LawrenceEllison thumb Top 10 Richest person in the world 2010 | who is the richest person in the world 2010
Oracle founder’s fortune continues to soar; shares up 70% in past 12 months. Database giant has bought 57 companies in the past five years. Completed $7.4 billion buyout of Sun Microsystems in January; acquired BEA Systems for $8.5 billion in 2008. Studied physics at U. of Chicago; didn’t graduate. Started Oracle 1977; took public a day before Microsoft in 1986.

No.7 Bernard Arnault

$27.5 billionBernardArnault thumb Top 10 Richest person in the world 2010 | who is the richest person in the world 2010
Luxury goods, France.

Bling is back, helping fashion icon grab title of richest European as shares of his luxury goods outfit LVMH–maker of Louis Vuitton, Moet & Chandon–surge 57%. LVMH is developing upscale Shanghai commercial property, L’Avenue Shanghai, with Macau billionaire Stanley Ho.

No.8 Eike Batista

$27 billionEikeBatista thumb Top 10 Richest person in the world 2010 | who is the richest person in the world 2010
Mining, oil. Brazil.
Vowing to become world’s richest man–and he may be on his way. This year’s biggest gainer added $19.5 billion to his personal balance sheet. Son of Brazil’s revered former mining minister who presided over mining giant Companhia Vale do Rio Doce got his start in gold trading and mining.

No.9 Amancio Ortega

$25 billionAmancioOrtega thumb Top 10 Richest person in the world 2010 | who is the richest person in the world 2010
Fashion retail, Spain.
Style maven lords over Inditex; fashion firm, which operates under several brand names including Zara, Massimo Dutti and Stradivarius, has 4,500 stores in 73 countries including new spots in Mexico and Syria. Set up joint venture with Tata Group subsidiary to enter India in 2010. Betting on Florida real estate: bought Coral Gables office tower that is currently home to
Bacardi USA.

No.10 Karl Albrecht

$23.5 billion
Supermarkets, Germany.KarlAlbrecht thumb Top 10 Richest person in the world 2010 | who is the richest person in the world 2010
Owns discount supermarket giant Aldi Sud, one of Germany’s (and Europe’s) dominant grocers. Has 1,000 stores in U.S. across 29 states. Estimated sales: $37 billion. Plans to open New York City store this year. With younger brother, Theo, transformed mother’s corner grocery store into Aldi after World War II. Brothers split ownership in 1961; Karl took the stores in southern Germany, plus the rights to the brand in the U.K., Australia and the U.S. Theo got northern Germany and the rest of Europe.

Top 10 Extraordinary People in the World

1. Kim Ung-Yong: Attended University at age 4, Ph.D at age 15; world’s highest IQ

Kim-Ung-Yong
This Korean super-genius was born in 1962 and might just be the smartest guy alive today (he’s recognized by the Guinness Book of World Records as having the highest IQ of anyone on the planet). By the age of four he was already able to read in Japanese, Korean, German, and English. At his fifth birthday, he solved complicated differential and integral calculus problems. Later, on Japanese television, he demonstrated his proficiency in Chinese, Spanish, Vietnamese, Tagalog, German, English, Japanese, and Korean. Kim was listed in the Guinness Book of World Records under “Highest IQ”; the book estimated the boy’s score at over 210.
Kim was a guest student of physics at Hanyang University from the age of 3 until he was 6. At the age of 7 he was invited to America by NASA. He finished his university studies, eventually getting a Ph.D. in physics at Colorado State University before he was 15. In 1974, during his university studies, he began his research work at NASA and continued this work until his return to Korea in 1978 where he decided to switch from physics to civil engineering and eventually received a doctorate in that field. Kim was offered the chance to study at the most prestigious universities in Korea, but instead chose to attend a provincial university. As of 2007 he also serves as adjunct faculty at Chungbuk National University.

2. Gregory Smith: Nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize at age 12

Gregory-Smith
Born in 1990, Gregory Smith could read at age two and had enrolled in university at 10. But “genius” is only one half of the Greg Smith story. When not voraciously learning, this young man travels the globe as a peace and children’s rights activist.
He is the founder of International Youth Advocates, an organization that promotes principles of peace and understanding among young people throughout the world. He has met with Bill Clinton and Mikhail Gorbachev and spoke in front of the UN. For these and other humanitarian and advocacy efforts, Smith has been nominated four times for a Nobel Peace Prize. His latest achievement? He just got his driver license.

3. Akrit Jaswal: The Seven Year-Old Surgeon

akrit-jaswal
Akrit Jaswal is a young Indian who has been called “the world’s smartest boy” and it’s easy to see why. His IQ is 146 and is considered the smartest person his age in India—a country of more than a billion people.
Akrit came to public attention when in 2000 he performed his first medical procedure at his family home. He was seven. His patient — a local girl who could not afford a doctor — was eight. Her hand had been burnt in a fire, causing her fingers to close into a tight fist that wouldn’t open. Akrit had no formal medical training and no experience of surgery, yet he managed to free her fingers and she was able to use her hand again.
He focused his phenomenal intelligence on medicine and at the age of twelve he claimed to be on the verge of discovering a cure for cancer. He is now studying for a science degree at Chandigarh College and is the youngest student ever accepted by an Indian University.

4. Cleopatra Stratan: a 3 year old singer who earns 1000€ per song

Cleopatra-Stratan
Clepotra was born October 6, 2002 in Chisinau, Moldova and is the daughter of Moldovan-Romanian singer, Pavel Stratan. She is the youngest person ever to score commercial success as a singer, with her 2006 album La vĂ¢rsta de trei ani (“At the age of 3″). She holds the record for being the youngest artist that performed live for two hours in front of a large audience, the highest paid young artist, the youngest artist to receive an MTV award and the youngest artist to score a #1 hit in a country (“Ghita” in Romanian Singles Chart).

5. Aelita Andre: The 2-year-old artist who showed her paintings in a famous Gallery

Aelita-Andre
The abstract paintings of emerging artist Aelita Andre have people in Australia’s art world talking. Aelita is two (the works were painted when she was even younger).
Aelita got an opportunity to show her paintings when Mark Jamieson, the director of Brunswick Street Gallery in Melbourne’s Fitzroy, was asked by a photographer whose work he represented to consider the work of another artist. Jamieson liked what he saw and agreed to include it in a group show.
Jamieson then started to promote the show, printing glossy invitations and placing ads in the magazines Art Almanac and Art Collector, featuring the abstract work. Only then did he discover a crucial fact about the new artist: Aelita Andre is Kalashnikova’s daughter, and was just 22 months old. Jamieson was shocked and embarrassed but decided to proceed with the exhibition anyways.

6. Saul Aaron Kripke: Invited to apply for a teaching post at Harvard while still in high school

Saul-Aaron-Kripke
A rabbi’s son, Saul Aaron Kripke was born in New York and grew up in Omaha in 1940. By all accounts he was a true prodigy. In the fourth grade he discovered algebra, and by the end of grammar school he had mastered geometry and calculus and taken up philosophy. While still a teenager he wrote a series of papers that eventually transformed the study of modal logic. One of them earned a letter from the math department at Harvard, which hoped he would apply for a job until he wrote back and declined, explaining, “My mother said that I should finish high school and go to college first”. After finishing high school, the college he eventually chose was Harvard.
Kripke was awarded the Schock Prize, philosophy’s equivalent of the Nobel. Nowadays, he is thought to be the world’s greatest living philosopher.

7. Michael Kevin Kearney: earned his first degree at age 10 and became a reality show Millionaire

24 year-old Michael Kearney became known as the world’s youngest college graduate at the age of 10. In 2008, Kearney earned $1,000,000 on the television game show Who Wants to be a Millionaire?
Kearny was born in 1984 and is was known for setting several world records and teaching college at the age of 17.
He spoke his first words at four months. At the age of six months, he said to his pediatrician “I have a left ear infection” and learned to read at the age of ten months. When Michael was four, he was given diagnostic tests for the Johns Hopkins precocious math program and achieved a perfect score. He finished high school at age 6, enrolled at Santa Rosa Junior College graduating at 10 with an Associate of Science in Geology. He is listed in the Guinness Book as the world’s youngest university graduate at the age of 10, receiving a bachelor’s degree in anthropology. For a while, he also held the record for the world’s youngest postgraduate.
But in 2006, he became worldwide famous after reaching the finals on the Mark Burnett/AOL quiz/puzzle game Gold Rush, and became the first $1 million winner in the online reality game.

8. Fabiano Luigi Caruana: a chess prodigy who became the youngest Grandmaster at age 14

Fabiano-Luigi-Caruana
Fabulous Fabiano is a 16-year-old chess Grandmaster and chess prodigy with dual citizenship of Italy and the United States.
On 2007 Caruana became a Grandmaster at the age of 14 years, 11 months, 20 days – the youngest Grandmaster in the history of both Italy and the United States. In the April 2009 FIDE list, he has an Elo rating of 2649, making him the world’s highest ranked player under the age of 18.

9. Willie Mosconi: played professional Billiards at age 6

Willie-Mosconi
William Joseph Mosconi, nicknamed “Mr. Pocket Billiards” was a American professional pocket billiards (pool) player from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Willie’s father owned a pool hall where he wasn’t allowed to play, but Willie improvised by practicing with small potatoes from his mother’s kitchen and an old broomstick. His father soon realized that his son was a child prodigy began advertising challenge matches, and though Willie had to stand on a box in order to reach the table, he beat experienced players many years his senior.
In 1919, an exhibition match was arranged between six-year old Willie and the reigning World Champion, Ralph Greenleaf. The hall was packed, and though Greenleaf won that match, Willie played very well launching his career in professional billiards. In 1924, at the tender age of eleven, Willie was the juvenile straight pool champion and was regularly holding trick shot exhibitions.
Between the years of 1941 and 1957, he won the BCA World Championship of pool an unmatched fifteen times. Mosconi pioneered and employed numerous trick shots, set many records, and helped to popularize the game of billiards. He still holds the officially recognized straight pool high run record of 526 consecutive balls.

10. Elaina Smith: youngest agony aunt aged 7

Elaina-Smith
Her local radio station gave her the job after she rang and offered advice to a woman caller who had been dumped. Elaina’s tip — go bowling with pals and drink a mug of milk — was so good she got a weekly slot and now advises thousands of adult listeners. The littler adviser tackles problems ranging from how to dump boyfriends and how to cope with relationship breakdown to dealing with smelly brothers.
When one listener wrote to Elaina asking how to get a man, she replied: “Shake your booty on the dance floor and listen to High School Musical”. Another caller asked how to get her man back, Elaina told her: “He’s not worth the heartache. Life’s too short to be upset with a boy.”

Jeena Issi Ka Name hai

1. School ----------------Yaadein

02. Pricipal --------------- Jaani Dushman

03. Classes --------------- Kabhi kabhi

04. Canteen --------------- Kabhi alvida na kehna

05. Course --------------- Godzilla

06. Exams ---------------- Kalyug

07. Examination hall --------------- Chamber of secret

08. Exam-time --------------- Qayamat se qayamt tak

09. Question paper --------------- Paheli

10. Answer paper --------------- Kora kagaz

11. Cheating -------------- Aksar/chupke chupke

12. Paper out -------------- Plan

13. Examiner ------------- The killer

14. Last exam ------------- Independence day

15. Paper correction ------------ Andha kanoon

16. Marks ----------- Assambhav

17. Result ----------- Murder

18. Pass ----------- Ajjoba/ chamatkar

19. Fail ----------- Devdas

20. Supplementary ---------- Aakhri raasta


21. Vacation ---------- Waah life hoto aisi..............