Funny Killer English

Principal to student..." I saw u yesterday rotating near girls hostel pulling cigarette... ? "

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Class teacher once said :

" pick up the paper and fall in the dustbin!!!"

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once Hindi teacher said...."I'm going out of the world to America.."

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"..DON'T TRY TO TALK IN FRONT OF MY BACK.."

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don't. laugh at the back benches...otherwise teeth and all will be fallen down.....

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it was very hot in the afternoon when the teacher entered.. She tried to switch the fan on, but there was some problem. and then she said

" why is fan not oning" (ing form of on)

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teacher in a furious mood...

write down ur name and father of ur name!!

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"shhh... quiet... the principal is revolving around college"

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My manager started like this

"Hi, I am Madhu, Married with two kids"

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"I'll illustrate what i have in my mind" said the professor and erased the board

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"will u hang that calendar or else I'll HANG MYSELF"

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LIBRARIAN SCOLDE ," IF U WILL TALK AGAIN , I WILL KNEEL DOWN OUTSIDE"

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Chemistry HOD comes and tells us...

"My aim is to study my son and marry my daughter"

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Tomorrow call ur parents especially mother and father

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"why are you looking at the monkeys outside when i am in the class?!"

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Lab assistant said this when my friend wrote wrong code..

"I understand. You understand. Computer how understand??

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Seeing the principal passing by, the teacher told the noisy class..

"Keep quiet, the principal has passed away"

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An Old Monkey Story With A New Ending

It's an old story that we read in Class 3 but with a new ending.

A hat-seller who was passing by a forest decided to take a nap under
one of
the trees,
so he left his whole basket of hats by the side. A few hours later, he
woke
up and realized that all his hats were gone.
He looked up and to his surprise, the tree was full of monkeys and
they had
taken all his hats.

The hat seller sits down and thinks of how he can get the hats down.
While thinking he started to scratch his head. The next moment, the
monkeys
were doing the same.
Next, he took down his own hat, the monkeys did exactly the same. An
idea
came to his mind*
He took his hat and threw it on the floor and the monkeys did that
too. So
he finally managed to get all his hats back.

Fifty years later, his grandson, Sukhwinder, also became a hat-seller
and
had heard this monkey story from his grandfather.
One day, just like his grandfather, he passed by the same forest. It
was
very hot, and he took a nap under the
same tree and left the hats on the floor.

He woke up and realized that all his hats were taken by the monkeys on
the
tree.

He remembered his grandfather' s words, started scratching his head and
the
monkeys followed.
He took down his hat and fanned himself and again the monkeys
followed.
Now, very convinced of his grandfather' s idea, Sukhwinder threw his
hat on
the floor but to his surprise,
the monkeys still held on to all the hats.

Then one monkey climbed down the tree, grabbed the hat on the floor,
gave
him a slap and
Guess!!! Said what???
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"You think only you have a grandfather !!!???"